Schools resumed this week and I couldn’t help reflecting on the issues around the pure consciousness, I am privileged to raise. I use the word “issues” thoughtfully, especially now that they are away from me, howbeit, for a few hours daily.
I am one of those who always wanted children. I didn’t dream of a wedding like I dreamt of birth. I just knew within me that motherhood was calling, if only I could find a suitable mate. The universe has always been kind to me and I did meet my twin flame.
It didn’t take us long to bring children into this world and with each birth, I experienced a shift in awareness. My kids woke me up to the aliveness that was me. The drug free birthing process, was one of those out of body experiences that you cannot put into words. An epidural could have saved me the headache, if there wasn’t that part of me that wanted to feel what I chose.
As I imagine the world through the eyes of pure genuine souls, I am sometimes burdened by the uncertainty of parenting in this knowledge driven generation.
The questions that keep me awake in the dawn of day are:
“Am I doing a good job?”
“Are my children’s teachers evolved enough to pass down balanced knowledge?”
“What would my children think of my parenting style in the future?”
These questions leads to the ultimate question:
“Why did I birth children?”
I haven’t met any parent who subjects themselves to constant self reflection, that do not question their parenting style or techniques. We are open minded people and hope to raise children who are independent thinkers. As sexy as this sounds, it is not without drawbacks. Allowing the kids travel every road, could mean loosing control and that is Parenting Fear 101. This question naturally feeds into the third. A child who can access knowledge for themselves will come back to the dinner table and review how they were raised. “What if they find me wanting?” “Would my ego survive criticisms or would I be evolved enough to flow with their stories?”
The second question, is the reason I follow the likes of Ken Robinson. There is something about putting kids behind bars or gates that bothers me. This whole notion of schooling that we picked from the West without censoring any part of it. Ken argues that schools “kill creativity” and my generation is proof that he is right.
There are so many of us, who do not remember what we were taught in class. Personally my senior secondary education was a blur. Nothing freaked me out like the sight of my Chemistry teacher talking about atoms and molecules that we never saw. So many of us are living off our talents and not necessarily using those certificates we fought hard to obtain. I know, you might be saying ‘no knowledge is wasted’, maybe. However, what happens to the wisdom that competitive programming kills?
The term will end and parents would flood social media with all sorts of paper achievements their children picked from school. The clever school owners have an award for every ego. No child is left out and we are the momentarily happier for it.
As I drop my kids off each day, I think about the energy their teachers bring to the room. Even though we choose Montessori, I am mindful of the cross learning that occurs in a controlled environment.
“Would they find my daughter’s confidence intimidating or cringe when my son says he is superman the saviour of the world?”
These men and women who themselves are work in progress, teach our kids certainty in an ever changing world. To free my mind from incessant thinking, I relax into knowing that school is only a small part of their learning experience. This is where I find the most peace and courage to drop them off.
Ken Robinson talks about a learning revolution and I like to think that it is already happening. More Nigerian parents are thinking about homeschooling their children, parents are engaging schools and more importantly the pure consciousness themselves are teaching us by BEING.
So why did I birth children? I can’t say I know the answer, beyond the innate need to put something in our world that wasn’t there before. As I observe the children of Lagos, I am in awe of the light that shines in their presence. It doesn’t matter whether they ride exotic cars to school, trek or take the bus, they exude timeless energy as they waltz pass communal parental figures.
In closing, I hope our generation would be kind to little children, finding the courage to honours their Free Will, like Christ honour ours.