There is so much going on in our world today. We are fighting terrorism, wide spread hunger, starvation and high child mortality rates. Sometime last year, I got really mad at God and His Church. The church of Nigeria to be precise. I was done with the prosperity rhetoric and all the religious jargon. All that jiggery-pokery was doing me in, I wanted out.
In my mind’s eye, the Nigerian God created by the spiritual entrepreneurs was a fame loving, money grabbing buffoon, who was beyond sadistic in His thinking. In a country where most people live below the poverty line, only God’s holy soldiers could afford ‘agege bread’ in excess. I was angry at the thought of a private jet or worse still several, when God’s children could barely afford three square meals. Where is the love in that?
My ultimate annoyance was hell fire. You know that place where you go to burn for all eternity. On the one hand I am told ‘God is love’, but cross Him and you will perish forever. I could never reconcile a loving God and an everlasting pain inflicting saviour. My thoughts about God, worsened after I had children. Sinful me, could not imagine sending any of my children to hell fire forever. Why will I want to punish the same people I love, forever. What kind of love is that?
So I started asking questions, because I really wanted to “KNOW GOD FOR MYSELF”! So there is a God of Abraham, Daddy Adeboye and so on. I wanted to know the God of Precious Ajoonu. I needed to experience the God force and know beyond doubt that He exists. I did not want to rely on another person’s experience. I was told that I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, which meant I had God inside of me. This also, translates to me being God. “I am created in His image and likeness”, they said. I am born of God, I am a son of God. The more I thought about “the I am’s” the more I delved into knowing . I decided I was going to go deeper and find out if any of this even made sense. Some call the concept of God a fairy tale. What if they are right? I was on a fact finding mission.
My parents raised us, in love and I do everything that has meaning to me with great love. I mean I know till this day that no matter what I do, they will love me without question. I just know. The God preachers/peddlers often referred to God as love. I decided to focus on His love, instead of eternal damnation in hell fire. I started asking questions, in my small Lagos home. I stopped going to Church to shut out external noise, I just wanted to have some alone time with the God force. I wanted to know His will.
Heck! My father named my son “Odosamamwen” which means the will of God is good for me. I wanted to find out what that “will of God ” was once and for all.
My questioning drove me to the internet, books, rarely the Bible, other religious texts, meditation and the fine art of listening to the Holy Spirit. I started off calling this voice “my Assistant”. I couldn’t bring myself to saying it was the Holy Spirit. That sounded too heavy for me to pronounce or appreciate. This would continue for months until a phone call from my friend, changed everything. She spoke to me about God and how she feels that when you guide people to themselves which is what we do at our monthly mind experience seminars, you are guiding them to God. Her words spoke to the ‘Knower’ in me and I decided to meditate on them.
The next day I finally understood what the will of God means and here it goes! “God means love and will means thought. The will of God then, is a loving thought” Marianne Williamson (A return to Love). When we do things with love, we are acting in accordance with the will of God. That is why my marriage makes a lot of sense to me, even though I had fear around admitting that I indeed love my partner. Oh! The loving cries of my children and my response to them comes from the deepest recesses of pure love. When I am with family, I am in love mode. When I meet someone I really connect with all I do is show love. I cannot help how I love the people I care about, I just go in hard. This love always feels so peaceful. I finally understood why, I feel so much peace when I am giving and showing love. It is because I am acting out the will of God which is love!
All my years of confusion seemed to melt away as I went deeper into understanding God as love. I will not speak about hell fire, you need to find that out for yourself. I am just super excited to finally acknowledge that God does exist and He is indeed love. So I will never miss my way because God (love) leads me. I feel so much lighter in my spirit. I know now that I have always been connected to the God source. I want to keep on loving people. There is so much love in this heart to give and I will spread the love. The cool thing is, there is love in your heart too. Maybe we should start a love movement? Perhaps it has already started with mind experience?
I will be exploring love in the coming days and weeks and hope you will join me. My message is love. This is why I was created to embody love and guide others to the love that is in every one of us.
Walk with me will you?
May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with you amen.
Photo Credit: Google Images.